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The Wheels on the Bus

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It’s easy on a blog to paint a rosy picture of life. But then there are moments, like today, where writing is not intended for painting such a rosy picture, but to provide me as the writer with an outlet for my thoughts and emotions at the moment. I’m realizing more and more the importance of painting another kind of picture. One of reality. Raw and unfiltered. Life certainly has it’s highs and lows. It’s peaks and valleys. I need to write about them all.

Megan loves the bus. She adores this form of transportation that gets her to school each and every day. However, yesterday there was an “incident” where Megan removed her seat belt before the bus driver said it was okay. That bought her bus citation and a harness to wear while riding the bus. Now believe me, I am all for safety. Safety first. If there’s one thing I need as a mother it’s reassurance that when I pass my child off to another they are in safe keeping. And Megan’s bus driver this year takes it very seriously. For that I am more than grateful!

When Megan headed out the door this morning the bus driver opened her door and greeted us with a cheerful hello, just as she always does. Every. Single. Day.

I love that, more than you know. It puts a smile on both of our faces. As Megan climbed the stairs to get onto the bus, the driver handed me a “Consent Form” which she kindly asked me to sign. This consent form allows the bus service to use a harness for Megan, instead of the standard seat belt. Ultimately, it would stop Megan from removing her seat belt before it was time. I really have no problem with this. Yet, as I took that pen in my hand and started filling out the form, it suddenly became extremely hard for me to sign my name. It hurt. It hurt deep down inside my soul.

Why? Because for a split second this morning I was made to feel that Megan is different and is sometimes treated and viewed that way by others. That teachers, and even bus drivers, stamp “mentally retarded” across her forehead and then treat her as such. That this harness is required for Megan because they think she is reckless and out of control. As her mother, I can tell you she is not this way at all. She’s calm. She’s cheerful. She’s a 10 year old girl. And she is more alike other girls her age than different.

I hope people look at Megan far deeper than her diagnosis and see what’s really there. A little girl who loves Barbies, shopping at Justice for cute clothes, listening to music on her iPad and watching movies.  As her mom, I want nothing more than for people to see beyond the exterior. Beyond those almond shaped eyes. And instead see her heart. How she can fill a room with joy and laughter in a split second. Just like she did the other night at Red Robin when she lied to our server that it was her birthday after we’d all finished our dinner. Megan said very excitedly, “It’s my Birthday. I’m 10!” I quietly whispered to the server, “It’s not really her birthday”. She sweetly flashed me a heart-warming smile and said quietly, “Can I still bring her a sundae?” I gave her the thumbs up, and assured her that it would make Megan’s day. When this darling girl placed a rainbow, sprinkle covered sundae on the table, right in front of Megan, clapping and singing a spirited rendition of “Happy Birthday”, Megan’s reaction was priceless.

Unicorns danced around the room. And Megan was left speechless. She was in awe, shocked, stunned and overjoyed. Megan’s ginormous smile said it all.

Her laughter filled the entire restaurant.  These are the times my heart is happy and I realize there are many wonderful people in the world. People with big hearts. Hearts that see beyond the exterior.

I wish sometimes it wasn’t so hard being the mom of a child with special needs. Well, really, it’s not that it’s “hard”. It’s that certain things, and sometimes it’s the littlest of things, that can hurt. And hurt when they shouldn’t or aren’t suppose to.

Megan knows she’s required to wear a seat belt in a car and on a bus. She knows the importance of keeping it on until the car or bus comes to a complete stop and is turned off. She never takes her seat belt off in the car. Never. Ever. Ever! In fact, she will start crying or say, “MOM!” if I start driving and she isn’t buckled in yet.

However, somehow on the bus, her line of thinking is a bit askew at times. She enjoys “testing” the bus driver or her teachers at school, just like any other kid. In the end, unfortunately, it leads to drastic actions taken by her teachers and bus drivers which leaves me feeling like they think of her as less of a person. But, somehow I know deep down inside, that is truly not the case. These teachers and bus drivers do love her. They care about her and want her to be safe. To learn and to grow in every aspect and area of her life.

I guess as Megan’s mom I tend to be ultra sensitive in these delicate situations. The bottomline is, I want her to be treated equally by everyone!  I want her to feel and know she is no different than anyone else, regardless of the fact she was born with Trisomy-21. I feel like if people start treating her differently, perhaps in a way I perceive as being less than human, than she’ll start seeing herself that way. She’ll stop trying. And as she does, limiting herself to achieving her fullest potential.

I’m concerned that when they put that harness on, which I signed the consent form for, Megan will look around the bus and quickly notice she is the only one restrained that way. She’ll feel she’s different. Maybe, just maybe, it will have a positive outcome and Megan will stop taking her seat belt off in the future while riding the bus. Perhaps it will teach her a powerful lesson about the importance of safety. I hope that’s the case!

I love my daughter, Megan with all my heart. I believe in her. I dream big for her! I have one simple wish for my Megan.  I wish that no one, not a single person,  places any limitations on Megan. EVER! I had a hard time signing that consent form this morning, because I don’t want this harness to become a symbol to Megan that she is being restrained from accomplishing great things. Stopped from acheiving her dreams and goals because someone treated her in a way that made her feel unimportant along the way.

May Megan always know she is loved and feels accepted by others. I hope she knows just how much people do deeply care for her and want what’s best for her now and in her very bright future.



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